hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
The power of my boobs compel you
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
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