As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
