Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Who died my cat blue again?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Congratulations! We have a period
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize