once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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