I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
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