so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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