I am spending my child support on dildos
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
