i would punch a child for taco bell
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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