my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
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