Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
