Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
