No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
