Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
