You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
