but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
