I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
