Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
In other news, I just burned my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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