the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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