i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
