One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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