it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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