The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
