i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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