I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize