I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
