Are we in a gay sports bar?
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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