32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
