you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
