I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
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