Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
