you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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