More tranny stories later!
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
