WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
