My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
