that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
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