No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
