so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
