You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
