You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
