Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
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