If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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