Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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