There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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