found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
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