Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
