i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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