Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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