She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
