So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
