I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
