We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
