there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
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