Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the barista slut.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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