paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I could fuck to npr.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize