would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize