I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
