I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
