We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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