my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I am midnight drunk by noon
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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