Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
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I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
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