Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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