I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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