When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
